Managing Conflicts

Conflicts are basically life's basic struggles. The word "Conflict" is vague as has a wide range of intensity. Conflicts can last for hours, days, months or even years! Everyone goes through the bad times, struggle and fret, then feels completely frustrated. Precisely, conflicts are when simple disagreements go bad. There are different conflicts such as relationship based, interest based or even opinion based.

I hate getting involved in conflicts because it feels nasty and really sours my day. It's like glue being thrown in my face and I need to clear the mess of it - simply troublesome, painful and undesirable.

I have experienced different types of conflicts among friends which did turn out bad and stunk my entire week. I'd admit that it was rather immature but the result of the conflict did had some positive impact on our friendship. Once, my friend and I were involved in a project work and we had a completely different set of views about the way to go about doing the project. My friend insisted on his way while I insisted on mine. He is a strong headed individual and that was his strength and also his weakness, so to speak. I voiced out my opinion and he 'counter-opposed' to mine, feeling that his view was much better. It got to a point where things were heated up for the wrong reason and he felt pissed off. He was keen in doing the project work with me and wanted a switch with other groups. It put me in an awkward position whereby it looks as if I was the idiotic one which made things structure roughly.

Thankfully, things were sort out after much understanding and patience with each other. Giving in and taking others' opinion into consideration is all about teamwork. As a saying goes, "There is no I in a team".

The above mentioned situation was just a minor conflict among two individuals in a project work.

A common conflict would be in a relationship. Quarrels and fights are just part and parcel of a relationship - nothing is perfect. One has a view and the other has another, both disagree to each other and there, a quarrel erupts predictably. My parents are the common people. They quarrel over disagreements which sometimes, are really so trivial to the point where I'll just gawk at their immaturity. I'm not being rude or anything but sometimes, things aren't as complicated as it looks.

But I do vividly remember one argument my parents had which went on for days, close to week. Every night (for that period of time), my parents would lock themselves in the room and start their heated argument. Sometimes, I could hear bangs and loud hits against the cupboards or things being thrown out of anger. It's hard and fearful to open the door just to check on them. What makes things more intense is that they never fail to make sure the door is locked. They slept in separate rooms and seemed to be strangers. At one point, their quarrel lasted till the wee hours of the night, and my neighbour actually knocked on the door out of curiosity and asked them to not be such a din in the night. It was a very irritating block of time because I couldn't get peace. It was as if hell broke loose and lasted for a good number of days which felt like years.

But it soon got better, and I guess my parents decided to give in to each other, handling it maturely.

The eruption of that conflict has in fact brought them closer together. They both learnt that misunderstanding and the lack of communication has been the bane of such conflicts and that they both have to been patient and responsible with their actions. It's obvious that they had increased their level of understanding through their relationship conflicts.

The sight and thought of conflicts brings about negativity to people's mind. Underneath the harsh term, is a soft side. Conflicts can improve self awareness, strengthen relationships, promotes group cohesion, promotes creativity and helps problem solving.