Understanding You and Me

Communication gets message across and listening, gets message inside the mind. Listening is all about absorbing the meaning of words and understanding it. Listening styles reflects the attitude and behaviour of the listener. Honestly, I think that I am a good listner.

Listening is not always smooth. Sometimes, we do get distracted and then to miss a few words. Those words could have made a difference in the sentence and thus, could have expressed a different meaning. Take for instance; you friend talks to you and then a football match comes on live on the television. You redirect your attention, with your friend talking simultaneously. Redirecting back, you face your friend and say, "Sorry? can you repeat?"

That spilt second of distraction had interrupted your listening. It could have been just a couple of words, but those words could have meant a lot. Listening has many barriers, both external and internal.

I remember, when I was in Chinese class, I never paid attention. Chinese has never been my cup of tea, though I'm a Chinese by race. I was exposed to English and Malay in my family (Peranakan) and Chinese can be placed in the "history" or "antique" list. The interest I have for Chinese is really low. Whenever my Chinese teacher teaches, I would gaze in the air, but looking as though I'm all ears, grasping every word she said. At the end of the day, I'm absolutely clueless. Surprisingly, I did manage to get a Grade A for my PSLE. It came as a shocking surprise, don't wish to question on that.

In the lecture hall, the air condition blows as it maximum, hitting hard on you. You shiver, fidget and get distracted by the coldness. You tend to be more aware of the cold surroundings than what the lecturer is speaking about. Another example, you had a heavy meal for lunch and attend lesson the next moment, held in a cooling environment. Your teacher explains about a long passage on History and your eyes gets heavier each minute. The more your teacher went on, the more you went down (literally) and your whole body retires. Your listening ability shuts and your mind switches off.

When your not feeling well, your listening ability also goes down. Your body is not adjusted to optimum condition and therefore, your listening skills are being affected involuntarily. Emotions are definitely the main obstacles for listening. When you're anger, you tend to be more aggressive and defensive. When you're happy, you take things in really well. When you're sad, your mood dies. When you're confused, you're lost.

Your Choice: Would you listen to a talk made by your favourite Hollywood star or a talk made by your neighbour's friend?

The perception you have of an individual counts. If you have a good perception of a person, you tend to be more attentive and alert towards his/her talking. If you don't have much of an impression on that person, and you see him as a random individual, your interest level is not that high. Therefore, you would have to take second thoughts in listening attentively. Expectation wise, you would probably expect a superbly impressive talk by the Hollywood star and probably a more humble and moderate talk by your neighbour's friend.

Listening is not all about verbal conversations. Non-verbal factors do play a part and in fact, it is a key point to a good conversation. Body-language is high essential. Seeing is believing and by seeing, it leaves an impression. When a person speaks and goes on without any action, just plainly standing and blabbing, your interest is so hard to be maintained. The supposingly most interesting topic could just be the most boring topic ever!